Avilés

I love going home once in a blue moon, long enough to taste it, brief enough to miss it. Stay at my old house, in my old bed room, hearing all the old familiar noises... the fridge at sleep-time, the morning cars outside the window, the microwave's bell when breakfast is ready, mmmm....
When I go, I buy cigarettes, long,fancy slims, to feel like a Countess. I walk the whole town in less than 30 minutes, and it's exciting cause I know i might find a friend in every corner. Even if I don't... streets seem to smile at me, old women look at me like I've been out of town :P
Then it gets dark and together with some friends we drink the present away. For one night it feels like we're all back there.

(Sigh)

Yes, I'm corny... but how I love going home once in a blue moon.

Rant.

Sometimes it's not enough, I don't feel good.
It's like a stab in a heart that isn't mine.
I wonder, and wonder, and wonder...
but things don't look any clearer.
Wether I choose this or that, won't change the course of things.
Faraway land has always done it for me...only for a while.
Things always get back on track, and I lose it again.
I wonder if being a stone would make things easier, people nicer and myself healthier.
Yeah, being an object. No harm, no goodness, no up or down...just stillness.
Maybe a wheel in a mill (excuse me if it rhymes... I don't like that).
something that moves always in the same way and for the same reason, without drastic changes or any at all.
Something mechanic, clearly, utterly boring.
that's what I wanna be.
I don't wanna be affected in anyway by anything.
MOTIONLESS. LIFELESS.
Geee, it sounds like I wanna commit suicide, but it's not that. I'm not that intense.
Just wanna exist in a different way/space, where I can't BE in the human sense of being.


It's a shame that I'm a Steppenwolf.

A cierta edad, un poco por amor propio, otro poco por picardía, las cosas que más deseamos son las que fingimos no desear. Marcel Proust

I wanna be a firefighter and a fisherman and a baker